31 weeks ago, my many days of sobriety and positivity came to an abrupt end. While I am happy to be back, I am so sad that it has taken me 31 weeks to get into a state whereby I can be sober and blogging again. I feel that if perhaps I had stuck with my progress in terms of the booze, and told my tale as it transpired week by week instead of waiting until now; it may have helped with the process of coming to terms with my new situation.
However, hindsight is a wonderful, wonderful thing! I am just so pleased to be back now, and I am sorry that I have been away for so long.
Having abused my body for the last 7 months: working too hard, very little exercise, too much alcohol, not enough sleep, buckets loads of stress etc... I am really tired. I'm also on school holidays so even though it is only 2.20 in the afternoon, I am going to treat myself to a nap.
When I return this evening, I will start to tell the story of the last few months in instalments. Much of it, although it seemed very tragic at the time, is very funny. I think I'm going to enjoy telling it - at the very least it should be therapeutic!
Until later, folks!
Your friend,
Zara xxx
Friday, 19 August 2016
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Happy New Year!
I can't believe that it has taken me so long to write the second part of the Christmas post I started! I wish I could say that it is because life is so eventful and that I have loads and loads of interesting tales to regale you with, but actually, it's all been pretty mundane. Busy, but mundane. Good, but mundane.
Actually, life is pretty damn fine! I'm so grateful for a calm and happy Christmas and New Year. However, it does not make for exciting blogging!
At the end of my last post, I was about to interrupt Grandma in order to stop her taking her top off in the middle of the lounge. However, I was too late and the postman was already in the hallway and witnessed the whole thing. He was absolutely stunned. He said that he would've had a stroke but he just couldn't reach!
Having had much mirth at the expense of Grandma, we left her with my Uncle (he stayed at our house) for a few days while we had a break in Norfolk with H's parents. Living in Central York and being dangerously close to a river, we hoped they might have floated away during the floods, but no such luck! They were safe, sound and (thankfully) dry upon our return.
While we were away I learnt several valuable lessons:
1) It's much easier to eat properly (and even over-eat) when somebody else (and somebody talented) is doing the cooking..
2) Our mattress at home needs changing! Four nights on a proper comfortable bed and I realise that mine is like sleeping on a pile of bricks each night.
3) I'm developing a strange obsession with the World's Strongest Man competition. Yes, that's right, me. The woman with zero interest in watching any sport at all, whether live or on TV, has formed an addiction to big lads in Lycra pulling lorries! Better than H's addiction to millionaires in shorts chasing a ball around a pitch.
4) Downham Market is a fantastic little town to visit by train on New Year's Day when there is nothing better to do than indulge the youngest kids' public transport addiction.
However, I digress, The most important lesson I learnt this holiday is that giving up the booze before Christmas (although seemingly tricky) is the best move I could have made.
Although I got slightly envious at times of the Facebook posts all about alcohol, having a sober Christmas and New Year was brilliant! No hang over on the 1st January with pledges to be healthy and stop over-indulging for 2016. I actually entered 2016 with 40 sober days behind me!! How cool is that?
Anyway, I have no reason to be smug as my sobriety has very little to do with me. I have tried and failed many times before to quit unsuccessfully. It is mainly down to the wonderful website Living Sober.
If you want to give up drinking, I seriously recommend that you check this website out. If you just want to reassess your relationship with alcohol, then I suggest the same. It is completely free, excellent and non-judgemental advice from people who feel or have felt the lows caused by alcohol consumption.
It has saved my life and I will be forever grateful. If you find yourself reading this because you are worried or alone, get on there and get some support! Even better, look me up! My username is mouser123
I will be back soon with some really interesting, zany stories, I promise...(I'm lying, of course, it'll be more of me waffling shite but I will be back soon!!!)
Zxx
P.S. 47 days sober and all of a sudden I'm waking in the middle of the night sweating like a farm animal! WTF is that all about? Please, no menopause comments, I'm too young!
Actually, life is pretty damn fine! I'm so grateful for a calm and happy Christmas and New Year. However, it does not make for exciting blogging!
At the end of my last post, I was about to interrupt Grandma in order to stop her taking her top off in the middle of the lounge. However, I was too late and the postman was already in the hallway and witnessed the whole thing. He was absolutely stunned. He said that he would've had a stroke but he just couldn't reach!
Having had much mirth at the expense of Grandma, we left her with my Uncle (he stayed at our house) for a few days while we had a break in Norfolk with H's parents. Living in Central York and being dangerously close to a river, we hoped they might have floated away during the floods, but no such luck! They were safe, sound and (thankfully) dry upon our return.
While we were away I learnt several valuable lessons:
1) It's much easier to eat properly (and even over-eat) when somebody else (and somebody talented) is doing the cooking..
2) Our mattress at home needs changing! Four nights on a proper comfortable bed and I realise that mine is like sleeping on a pile of bricks each night.
3) I'm developing a strange obsession with the World's Strongest Man competition. Yes, that's right, me. The woman with zero interest in watching any sport at all, whether live or on TV, has formed an addiction to big lads in Lycra pulling lorries! Better than H's addiction to millionaires in shorts chasing a ball around a pitch.
4) Downham Market is a fantastic little town to visit by train on New Year's Day when there is nothing better to do than indulge the youngest kids' public transport addiction.
However, I digress, The most important lesson I learnt this holiday is that giving up the booze before Christmas (although seemingly tricky) is the best move I could have made.
Although I got slightly envious at times of the Facebook posts all about alcohol, having a sober Christmas and New Year was brilliant! No hang over on the 1st January with pledges to be healthy and stop over-indulging for 2016. I actually entered 2016 with 40 sober days behind me!! How cool is that?
Anyway, I have no reason to be smug as my sobriety has very little to do with me. I have tried and failed many times before to quit unsuccessfully. It is mainly down to the wonderful website Living Sober.
If you want to give up drinking, I seriously recommend that you check this website out. If you just want to reassess your relationship with alcohol, then I suggest the same. It is completely free, excellent and non-judgemental advice from people who feel or have felt the lows caused by alcohol consumption.
It has saved my life and I will be forever grateful. If you find yourself reading this because you are worried or alone, get on there and get some support! Even better, look me up! My username is mouser123
I will be back soon with some really interesting, zany stories, I promise...(I'm lying, of course, it'll be more of me waffling shite but I will be back soon!!!)
Zxx
P.S. 47 days sober and all of a sudden I'm waking in the middle of the night sweating like a farm animal! WTF is that all about? Please, no menopause comments, I'm too young!
Sunday, 27 December 2015
Last Christmas I gave you my arse...
First sober Christmas done and dusted!
I had two minor slip ups; neither of which involved me getting drunk, both of which left me feeling horrendously ill the next day (my body obviously has learnt to reject the poison!). They were very important and valuable lessons in what my alcohol trigger points are an how to avoid them.
The first slip occurred the night before Christmas Eve. I had been invited to a "Staff Meeting" of my local Costcutter and they always tend to be boozy affairs. Obviously, I don't work at Costcutter, I just know the staff really well through going in there daily to buy wine so I always get invited to their nights in the pub.
It was a weird night and fate works in mysterious ways. I'd promised myself that after 34 days of sobriety I would allow myself a "treat". However, I think that I was just worried that as my relationship with this group of friends is based upon booze, I would have nothing to talk to them about if I wasn't drinking. Anyway, I needn't have worried. As I embarked upon my third drink of the evening, I received a phone call to go home immediately, H had fallen ill and the kids we running amok!
My second slip was last night - I had been feeling tired all day and couldn't go anywhere because of the flooding. Being very bored and fed up, I jumped at the chance to have a glass of wine. It tasted horrible, I didn't enjoy it and it left me wondering yet again.... what am I looking for when I drink?
Anyway, I've now learnt to avoid excessive rest, boredom and the company of people with which I have mainly drinking in common!
I have to go and tend to Grandma now. She's currently performing a striptease in my lounge and the curtains are open so I'd best hurry before she scares the shit out of the neighbours!
Part 2 of this post to follow shortly!
I had two minor slip ups; neither of which involved me getting drunk, both of which left me feeling horrendously ill the next day (my body obviously has learnt to reject the poison!). They were very important and valuable lessons in what my alcohol trigger points are an how to avoid them.
The first slip occurred the night before Christmas Eve. I had been invited to a "Staff Meeting" of my local Costcutter and they always tend to be boozy affairs. Obviously, I don't work at Costcutter, I just know the staff really well through going in there daily to buy wine so I always get invited to their nights in the pub.
It was a weird night and fate works in mysterious ways. I'd promised myself that after 34 days of sobriety I would allow myself a "treat". However, I think that I was just worried that as my relationship with this group of friends is based upon booze, I would have nothing to talk to them about if I wasn't drinking. Anyway, I needn't have worried. As I embarked upon my third drink of the evening, I received a phone call to go home immediately, H had fallen ill and the kids we running amok!
My second slip was last night - I had been feeling tired all day and couldn't go anywhere because of the flooding. Being very bored and fed up, I jumped at the chance to have a glass of wine. It tasted horrible, I didn't enjoy it and it left me wondering yet again.... what am I looking for when I drink?
Anyway, I've now learnt to avoid excessive rest, boredom and the company of people with which I have mainly drinking in common!
I have to go and tend to Grandma now. She's currently performing a striptease in my lounge and the curtains are open so I'd best hurry before she scares the shit out of the neighbours!
Part 2 of this post to follow shortly!
Monday, 21 December 2015
Holidays!
Wow, what a week!
I was off school with the two youngest children last week. Just Monday afternoon and Tuesday, but it's enough to set you back at work! On Wednesday, H had the day off to "work from home" so I could go to work. Annoyingly, the younger two had both been sick, so although they were ready and keen to be back at school on Wednesday, we had to keep them off due to school policy. So, H missed out on all the shite and vomit, but did experience the final, irritable, hot day of illness which made me feel slightly better as I jauntily set off for work that morning.
When I arrived home, H said that quote of the day from youngest to middle child was, "I'm going to try really hard not to hit you today!"
I'm still sober! Despite many dreams where I've gone out and got bladdered, I have still not touched a drop. It's been over a month now but I don't want to be a bore who counts the days. Surely after a certain amount of time, living without alcohol becomes the norm and we simply don't think about it any more?
I've also done the majority of the work that I need to do for school this holiday, which in unheard of in this house. I was hoping to take all the school books back to school because I really don't have room for them in our caravan of a house, but we are waiting in for the district nurse. We've called them four times to arrange to get a continence assessment done on Grandma - she's never been too fond of water sports but she's swimming out of bed like a fucker every morning! My house is starting to look and smell like a nursing home so that is one of my missions for this Christmas - de-institutionalize my home. It sounds depressing but it's really not, she deserves to be with those who love her and she does provide a certain amount of comedy value to our lives. More about that in a later post.
So, books marked, test papers marked, pupil progress files set up, and new Spanish course well started. This sober life is really quite productive! I just wish I had time for a little nap before the noisy bastard carers come in to make Grandma her lunch..... oh well, there's always this afternoon and if I'm lucky, an episode of Murder, She Wrote or Columbo on the TV!
Love
Zx
I was off school with the two youngest children last week. Just Monday afternoon and Tuesday, but it's enough to set you back at work! On Wednesday, H had the day off to "work from home" so I could go to work. Annoyingly, the younger two had both been sick, so although they were ready and keen to be back at school on Wednesday, we had to keep them off due to school policy. So, H missed out on all the shite and vomit, but did experience the final, irritable, hot day of illness which made me feel slightly better as I jauntily set off for work that morning.
When I arrived home, H said that quote of the day from youngest to middle child was, "I'm going to try really hard not to hit you today!"
I'm still sober! Despite many dreams where I've gone out and got bladdered, I have still not touched a drop. It's been over a month now but I don't want to be a bore who counts the days. Surely after a certain amount of time, living without alcohol becomes the norm and we simply don't think about it any more?
I've also done the majority of the work that I need to do for school this holiday, which in unheard of in this house. I was hoping to take all the school books back to school because I really don't have room for them in our caravan of a house, but we are waiting in for the district nurse. We've called them four times to arrange to get a continence assessment done on Grandma - she's never been too fond of water sports but she's swimming out of bed like a fucker every morning! My house is starting to look and smell like a nursing home so that is one of my missions for this Christmas - de-institutionalize my home. It sounds depressing but it's really not, she deserves to be with those who love her and she does provide a certain amount of comedy value to our lives. More about that in a later post.
So, books marked, test papers marked, pupil progress files set up, and new Spanish course well started. This sober life is really quite productive! I just wish I had time for a little nap before the noisy bastard carers come in to make Grandma her lunch..... oh well, there's always this afternoon and if I'm lucky, an episode of Murder, She Wrote or Columbo on the TV!
Love
Zx
Monday, 14 December 2015
So, what's missing?
I've been up all night with vomiting children and so, another day off work for me. This is quite scary because in the past, being off for the day has been an excuse to go the shop, buy alcohol and then sit and drink it alone in front of the television.
Of course, 26 days in, I'm not going to do that although, I did have a dream last night that that is exactly what I did and I woke up feeling like I was still a drinker.
What intrigues me is the science of addiction. I know a girl who has been in hospital for over a year with anorexia. It's all she wants to talk about when we go and visit her, she really is in love with the disease. She says that she hates it, but she says that even though she doesn't understand it, she's not ready to let it go just yet. But it is killing her!
My drinking was the same for me. Every day I'd say that I would stop, yet by the evening I'd feel that I would "treat" myself one more time. It really was sickening. There would be days when I would drink so much that I physically couldn't drink any more. I'd sit there thinking, "I can't drink any more, I'm wasted - so where do I go from here? What did I do this for? I feel like shit..." and so on. So what was I looking for? What are all drinkers looking for in the bottom of a bottle? What's missing?
I've just read the Head and Heart post from Wine Bitch and I think she's talking a lot of sense. Perhaps when head and heart are in sync, the need for our addiction lessens. Sobering stuff. I think part of my problem is that I'm beyond knowing what my head and my heart feel or want. Perhaps I could spend today meditating on that...
Oh, and of course wiping sweaty brows and clearing up sick!
Have a fantastic sober day everyone! Spare a thought for me, I have Amazon Prime and Now TV so any box set marathon recommendations greatly appreciated!
Zx
Of course, 26 days in, I'm not going to do that although, I did have a dream last night that that is exactly what I did and I woke up feeling like I was still a drinker.
What intrigues me is the science of addiction. I know a girl who has been in hospital for over a year with anorexia. It's all she wants to talk about when we go and visit her, she really is in love with the disease. She says that she hates it, but she says that even though she doesn't understand it, she's not ready to let it go just yet. But it is killing her!
My drinking was the same for me. Every day I'd say that I would stop, yet by the evening I'd feel that I would "treat" myself one more time. It really was sickening. There would be days when I would drink so much that I physically couldn't drink any more. I'd sit there thinking, "I can't drink any more, I'm wasted - so where do I go from here? What did I do this for? I feel like shit..." and so on. So what was I looking for? What are all drinkers looking for in the bottom of a bottle? What's missing?
I've just read the Head and Heart post from Wine Bitch and I think she's talking a lot of sense. Perhaps when head and heart are in sync, the need for our addiction lessens. Sobering stuff. I think part of my problem is that I'm beyond knowing what my head and my heart feel or want. Perhaps I could spend today meditating on that...
Oh, and of course wiping sweaty brows and clearing up sick!
Have a fantastic sober day everyone! Spare a thought for me, I have Amazon Prime and Now TV so any box set marathon recommendations greatly appreciated!
Zx
Day 25 - Smugly Social
So, all last week I agonised about my first sober function....
It was fabulous! I went for a curry with my colleagues, I was Des - designated driver- and I had a lovely sober time. Following the advice of Wine Bitch (thanks for that, by the way) I got chatting to some lovely people I don't know well and found out loads about them. One young man in particular revealed to me that he still daren't come into the staffroom after having worked at school for three months! I really started to think about other people's perspectives and how sometimes, our heads can be so far up our own arses, we don't think about helping others as much as we should. Especially when we are drinking!
The journey there was white knuckle all the way. I was driving two people from my team to the restaurant and they both live in quite rural areas. The restaurant itself is also quite remote and while I had never been there before, the other two had. There was a freezing fog rolling off the hills, lots of flood water and it was pitch black! I was nervous I'd miss my turning.
I said, "When I was told that we were eating at Raj's Spice, I kept looking out for it whenever I drove down the main road, but it seemed really well hidden. I finally managed to spot it yesterday!"
"Nonsense!" My friends heckled me. "It's really obvious from the main road, there's a great big sign and you can't miss it!"
I would have begged to differ as it took me three attempts of driving down the road to discover where it was; masked by trees and a lake. Being the out of towner, I simply sighed and deferred to their superior local knowledge.
"Ha!" The older of my two colleagues laughed, "The last time I came about ten years ago with some friends, we saw the sign, turned in and then realised we were on somebody's drive! It was pitch black and there were great big ditches either side of the driveway so it was impossible to turn round. Fuck! That was awkward!"
The younger lady piped up, "Do you know what? Exactly the same thing happened to me and some of my mates. This really arsey woman came out and started shouting at us to move off the f..."
"Turn right! We're here!" Shouted the first colleague. And sure enough, the florescent Raj's Spice sign flickered before us, so I took a harsh right into the gateway.... straight onto a very long, narrow driveway leading up to a farmhouse. There were deep ditches either side, there was no room to turn around and the curtains in the living room window of the farmhouse started twitching violently!
Twenty minutes and a fifteen point turn later, we arrived to join the rest of our staff for popadoms and pickles. A shaky start to what was otherwise a very enjoyable evening.
I enjoyed my sober evening so much that I had a sober dinner in town with H on the Friday, and on Saturday, I drank lime and soda all night in the local pub while my dad downed four pints! Until the last few weeks, I would have matched him pint for pint and then opened a bottle of wine when I got in!
The night with my Dad was a real turning point. I think that it is from him I inherit my love of alcohol. He has no stop button either. The realisation that I could sit and have one of the best nights in the pub I've ever had with my Dad, while sober, has been one hell of an eye opener! Long may it continue. I'm a little embarrassed to say it but, I actually felt dead proud driving him home!
I had a call from the childrens' school today to say that middle child was poorly, so I've had the afternoon off. I feel like I'm more or less up to date with things so I'm now snuggled in bed with child number 3 (daughter, 4 years old) who is exhibiting similar symptoms, so I think a cuppa and a chapter of my book before bed is in order.
Happy sober evening!!
Zx
P.S. I've just eaten a very disappointing fig roll. I love fig rolls! I hate it when that happens! Best stick to the custard creams.
PPS. My spotty chin is now back to former glory. I no longer look like the youth from The Simpsons!
It was fabulous! I went for a curry with my colleagues, I was Des - designated driver- and I had a lovely sober time. Following the advice of Wine Bitch (thanks for that, by the way) I got chatting to some lovely people I don't know well and found out loads about them. One young man in particular revealed to me that he still daren't come into the staffroom after having worked at school for three months! I really started to think about other people's perspectives and how sometimes, our heads can be so far up our own arses, we don't think about helping others as much as we should. Especially when we are drinking!
The journey there was white knuckle all the way. I was driving two people from my team to the restaurant and they both live in quite rural areas. The restaurant itself is also quite remote and while I had never been there before, the other two had. There was a freezing fog rolling off the hills, lots of flood water and it was pitch black! I was nervous I'd miss my turning.
I said, "When I was told that we were eating at Raj's Spice, I kept looking out for it whenever I drove down the main road, but it seemed really well hidden. I finally managed to spot it yesterday!"
"Nonsense!" My friends heckled me. "It's really obvious from the main road, there's a great big sign and you can't miss it!"
I would have begged to differ as it took me three attempts of driving down the road to discover where it was; masked by trees and a lake. Being the out of towner, I simply sighed and deferred to their superior local knowledge.
"Ha!" The older of my two colleagues laughed, "The last time I came about ten years ago with some friends, we saw the sign, turned in and then realised we were on somebody's drive! It was pitch black and there were great big ditches either side of the driveway so it was impossible to turn round. Fuck! That was awkward!"
The younger lady piped up, "Do you know what? Exactly the same thing happened to me and some of my mates. This really arsey woman came out and started shouting at us to move off the f..."
"Turn right! We're here!" Shouted the first colleague. And sure enough, the florescent Raj's Spice sign flickered before us, so I took a harsh right into the gateway.... straight onto a very long, narrow driveway leading up to a farmhouse. There were deep ditches either side, there was no room to turn around and the curtains in the living room window of the farmhouse started twitching violently!
Twenty minutes and a fifteen point turn later, we arrived to join the rest of our staff for popadoms and pickles. A shaky start to what was otherwise a very enjoyable evening.
I enjoyed my sober evening so much that I had a sober dinner in town with H on the Friday, and on Saturday, I drank lime and soda all night in the local pub while my dad downed four pints! Until the last few weeks, I would have matched him pint for pint and then opened a bottle of wine when I got in!
The night with my Dad was a real turning point. I think that it is from him I inherit my love of alcohol. He has no stop button either. The realisation that I could sit and have one of the best nights in the pub I've ever had with my Dad, while sober, has been one hell of an eye opener! Long may it continue. I'm a little embarrassed to say it but, I actually felt dead proud driving him home!
I had a call from the childrens' school today to say that middle child was poorly, so I've had the afternoon off. I feel like I'm more or less up to date with things so I'm now snuggled in bed with child number 3 (daughter, 4 years old) who is exhibiting similar symptoms, so I think a cuppa and a chapter of my book before bed is in order.
Happy sober evening!!
Zx
P.S. I've just eaten a very disappointing fig roll. I love fig rolls! I hate it when that happens! Best stick to the custard creams.
PPS. My spotty chin is now back to former glory. I no longer look like the youth from The Simpsons!
Tuesday, 8 December 2015
First Sober Function
Later this week is my first sober function, dinner at a restaurant near work. I've set myself up to succeed by offering to be Des for several colleagues and I am looking forward to going to a works do, safe in the knowledge that I will not leave having made a massive fool of myself!
To be honest, I don't think I've ever made a true dick of myself at a work function. The last big one that I went to a few years ago, the rest of the staff did a job far better than I did in creating a night to remember. I worked at a different school in those days and certain staff members were a bit wild, including the Deputy Head.
It was a retirement party and so we went to a sedate bar (a foody pub, really) in town and had a bite to eat. Then we took over the back room; as the retired folks left and the drinks flowed, a very lively Deputy (we'll call her Mrs B) started encouraging a very young NQT that it would be a good idea to take her clothes off in order that she could be photographed being whipped by other members of the staff. I was appalled as the poor NQT was obviously confused and so drunk she didn't even realise what she was doing. I called her a cab.
Having been persuaded to leave the NQT alone (the NQT was reluctantly poured into a taxi home), Mrs B (a stunning looking lady in her early forties) started pretending to drop things so she could bend over and pick them up. At first I couldn't understand why she was doing this, but I eventually realised that a group of young men had entered the room and were paying a bit more attention to another female member of staff than they were to her. I also realised very quickly the absence of Mrs B's knickers and the show she was giving to these guys every time she bent down! Believe it or not, there were actually parents of children that attended the school on this night out and governors witnessing all this! You'll be pleased to know that Mrs B had waxed for the occasion. I didn't look closely myself but I have it on good authority that she was freshly Brazillianed!
Just when I didn't think things could get much worse (remember, I'd had a skinfull too but I was still pretty horrified) we left the bar to find a taxi and she decided she needed the loo. She simply lifted up her dress and pissed all over the the Shambles as she walked along!
Anyway, I can't see this week's night out being like that. And if it is, I'm driving so it'll not be me urinating in the street. I'm sure I could write an Alan Bennett style monologue based on that night out:
A Piss on the Cobbles
Zara: "Fancy that!" said Mother. "Who'd have thought it? A piss on the Cobbles! In the Shambles. Now, down Stonebow it's only to be expected!"
I find it so funny. I've spent all these days working on looking after myself, being sober, exercising and eating right yet there are two things pressing on my mind:
1. My chin is still Whitehead City - my normally clear skin painfully breaking out - possibly searching for alcohol and cigarettes... or crack cocaine... (I'm joking!!)
2. Despite all this hard work and self care, I just can't wait until I can have an alcoholic drink!
It's ludicrous! I feel so much better, I'm sleeping well, I'm not anxious any more, I'm actually enjoying working - I'm not just fighting through hung over and desperately trying to get to the end of the day any more. I like being there.
I just want to feel fun and like me. To tell you the truth I know that alcohol is a liar because I never felt fun or like me when I was drinking either, but on some level I thought I did!
Any advice appreciated
Zx
To be honest, I don't think I've ever made a true dick of myself at a work function. The last big one that I went to a few years ago, the rest of the staff did a job far better than I did in creating a night to remember. I worked at a different school in those days and certain staff members were a bit wild, including the Deputy Head.
It was a retirement party and so we went to a sedate bar (a foody pub, really) in town and had a bite to eat. Then we took over the back room; as the retired folks left and the drinks flowed, a very lively Deputy (we'll call her Mrs B) started encouraging a very young NQT that it would be a good idea to take her clothes off in order that she could be photographed being whipped by other members of the staff. I was appalled as the poor NQT was obviously confused and so drunk she didn't even realise what she was doing. I called her a cab.
Having been persuaded to leave the NQT alone (the NQT was reluctantly poured into a taxi home), Mrs B (a stunning looking lady in her early forties) started pretending to drop things so she could bend over and pick them up. At first I couldn't understand why she was doing this, but I eventually realised that a group of young men had entered the room and were paying a bit more attention to another female member of staff than they were to her. I also realised very quickly the absence of Mrs B's knickers and the show she was giving to these guys every time she bent down! Believe it or not, there were actually parents of children that attended the school on this night out and governors witnessing all this! You'll be pleased to know that Mrs B had waxed for the occasion. I didn't look closely myself but I have it on good authority that she was freshly Brazillianed!
Just when I didn't think things could get much worse (remember, I'd had a skinfull too but I was still pretty horrified) we left the bar to find a taxi and she decided she needed the loo. She simply lifted up her dress and pissed all over the the Shambles as she walked along!
Anyway, I can't see this week's night out being like that. And if it is, I'm driving so it'll not be me urinating in the street. I'm sure I could write an Alan Bennett style monologue based on that night out:
A Piss on the Cobbles
Zara: "Fancy that!" said Mother. "Who'd have thought it? A piss on the Cobbles! In the Shambles. Now, down Stonebow it's only to be expected!"
I find it so funny. I've spent all these days working on looking after myself, being sober, exercising and eating right yet there are two things pressing on my mind:
1. My chin is still Whitehead City - my normally clear skin painfully breaking out - possibly searching for alcohol and cigarettes... or crack cocaine... (I'm joking!!)
2. Despite all this hard work and self care, I just can't wait until I can have an alcoholic drink!
It's ludicrous! I feel so much better, I'm sleeping well, I'm not anxious any more, I'm actually enjoying working - I'm not just fighting through hung over and desperately trying to get to the end of the day any more. I like being there.
I just want to feel fun and like me. To tell you the truth I know that alcohol is a liar because I never felt fun or like me when I was drinking either, but on some level I thought I did!
Any advice appreciated
Zx
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