Day 14 = 2 whole weeks off the sauce!
According to the experts, by now, all the alcohol should be out of my system, so any addiction remaining is purely psychological. To be honest, I feel less like drinking alcohol than I ever have, but I've developed a hell of a sweet tooth - any advice would be appreciated!
I've read both Alan Carr and Jason Vale's books. I think Jason Vale's is uncomfortably similar to the Alan Carr book that preceded it, however, something Jason Vale says rings particularly true. He talks about the concept of Curiosity Vs Craving. Do we really crave the booze after all the physical hooks have left our bodies? Or is it simply the devil's advocate in us saying, "Wine/vodka/beer or whatever used to make me feel really good about myself, until it didn't! I wonder how it would make me feel now?" Perhaps if we think about our cravings in these terms it might make them easier to manage or to think through.
A very busy day today. Yesterday, I was all showered and ready to go to school and leaving the house with the kids bang on time. I smelt good, I'd made an effort with clothes and make-up when .... "Zara.....I'm soaking wet!" ... the plaintiff cry emanated from Grandma's room, along with the strong smell of urine.
"Just leave me, I'll be fine....." Twenty minutes later, a relatively dry and sweet smelling Grandma was sitting in the lounge in her dressing gown with a cup of tea. A relatively damp and gross smelling me left the house for work, late and with irritable children.
Today things were looking up. It was bang on half past seven (the optimum time to leave) and the kids were climbing into the car which, for once, wasn't iced up. As I went into the childrens' bedroom, there was a nasty stale smell. I had my suspicions that the cat might have pissed on the floor, revenge for my having relieved her of a dead bird the day before. No such luck. Daughter number two (the youngest) had, in her words, "damaged her knickers".
In my words she had fucking annihilated them! Bless her. She's only four and has not yet got into the swing of doing anything more than a wee at school.
Round at my parents' house, a bath (for her) and a bowl of porridge (for me) later and all was well with the world. I then went to school to teach a whole day of Arts and Crafts. This is a lovely thing to do, but sadly, as with Maths - fucking fractions- I'm not gifted in that direction. I'm a senior school teacher, currently working in a primary school to cover illness. I love it but I feel a fish out of water with many of the subjects I have to teach.... Maths, PE, Science, Art, Design and Technology..... the list goes on! Reading.... No, seriously, I really do love it!
There was one funny highlight to my day. One of my children has to self inject due to a medical condition and a recent operation. Some of the other children were curious and asked her to inject them with water so they could experience what it feels like. She obliged, unbeknownst to staff, and it was only when a member of the class saw it going on and complained to the Head Teacher that it all came to light. The Head collared me at lunchtime and filled me in; I looked and sounded suitably horrified and said I'd have a word them. I promptly forgot. Oh come on! I was on my way to get my school dinner!
Later, I was trying to take the afternoon register, when one of the girls involved came to me and asked me if she could go and see Mr Collins, The Head. I was a bit distracted and said, "Yes, yes, just don't be long!" but when she was half way out of the door, it suddenly dawned on me that she was not normally the kind of girl who'd be summonsed to The Office!
I said, "Hang on! Why are you going to The Office? What have you done?"
She looked sheepish, "It's not me... I mean... it's not about me. You know, it's about ... " she lowered her voice conspiratorially, "Harriet's prick!"
I never even flickered, but inside I was pissing myself! I simply told her she should go and get back to class as quickly as possible!
Happy sober night everybody!
Zx
P.S I haven't yet discovered how to follow blogs!! Please comment and help if you can. I'm not normally a technophobe so I don't know where I'm going wrong!
Laughing my pants off...erm, sorry you've probably had enough of pants today....... I liked Jason Vale's book too, there's a couple of things I take issue with, first of all, i did count days until about 105 I think, and also I drank (and still do occasionally) fake booze...you know, non alcoholic wine etc. It wasn't a trigger for me. The thing is, just cherry pick from all the advice out there, and figure out what works. Senior care is tough sometimes, glad you're looking after yourself xx
ReplyDeleteZany day indeed! I have not much advice on the sugar, except maybe try to balance having some so you don't feel too restricted with getting stuck face and eyes into the sweets every time you feel even a mite uncomfortable. For me, learning to sit out those uncomfortable spots was useful. Sometimes a sweet pastry is the better route though!
ReplyDeleteRe following: I tried to follow your blog but then google wants me to upload a photo but doesn't like the ones I'm using. I will come back and try again after sleep. What I usually do is put blogs in my blog reader (a feature Blogger has that's easy to figure out) so they don't clog up my email. When I want to read blogs I go to my reader and browse through what's there. You might try that to see if it works, but some people prefer the following and getting email notifications. Anyway, lovely to see you here. Giant congrats on 2 weeks! Hooray you! xo